About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
