Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
