she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
