I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm always down for nudity.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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