I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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