yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
NoShamevember. You game?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
