So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
