it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize