i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
