maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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