we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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