big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
