I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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