If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
