Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize