I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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