i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Found your dick twin last night
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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