I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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