nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
