just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so let's talk penis.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
