I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
