apparently the secret to your success is patron
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
