can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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