he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you inspire me to be a worse person
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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