Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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