I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
