38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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