At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
