I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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