your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
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