just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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