is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
