oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize