if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
