I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
