im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
