when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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