What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
