I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
