apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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