apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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