3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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