no. you can't hotbox the world.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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