Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
