Where did you get a picture of my penis
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Pants are for mortals
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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