Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
