good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
