idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
