During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
