I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
