My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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