All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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