sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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