She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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