and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
