Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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