I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
