it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
