Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
