i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
