I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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