I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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