If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
