Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm bleeding and have questions
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize