I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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