I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
