my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
