So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
