I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
