saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
