Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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