nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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