Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
