we have pet lesbian snakes
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
