One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
