This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize