i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize