Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize