I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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