but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
